Helllllllllloooo Readership! Today Roger will have to train one of the new analysts at his job so under the 'ANALYST' tab will be Paul, the new dude and under 'ANALYST X' will be our Roger that only Paul can hear.
9:02 AM
ANALYST:IT SUPPORT!
ANALYST X:It's IT Helpdesk idiot.
ANALYST: But...
CLIENT: Hello?
ANALYST X: You're such a rude bastard Paul. You didn't even introduce yourself.
ANALYST: My name is Paul!
CLIENT: Oh hey I'm Lizzy.
ANALYST: Hey!
CLIENT:....so
ANALYST X:Ask her how you can help her man, c'mon!
ANALYST:So..ma'am, what's going on?
CLIENT:...well, I cannot print out of the office printer.
ANALYST: What happens when you try to print?
CLIENT:Nothing, I can't!
ANALYST X:Here we go again, tug of war of explanations. Just try not to say profanities.
ANALYST: Ok, I'd like you to go in 'Control Panel' please?
CLIENT:And where is that?
ANALYST: Huh!
ANALYST X:Yep, that's what you just signed up for dude.
ANALYST: You have to go in the start menu...
CLIENT:And where IS the start menu? I hate when you helpdesk guys think we're know-it-alls like you.
ANALYST: On the bottom of the sceen...
CLIENT: WHERE ON THE BOTTOM, I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.
ANALYST X: Fuck, thank god I don't have to deal with that stupid bitch
ANALYST: Wha?
CLIENT: *sigh*
ANALYST X:Tell her, bottom left corner.
ANALYST: Bottom, left corner...
CLIENT: THERE IS NOTHING THERE I TOLD YOU.
ANALYST X: Jesus man, tell her to shut the fuck up.
ANALYST: Ma'am, it's impossible...
CLIENT: *Sighs louder* Can you transfer me to anyone competent.
ANALYST X:You can lash out at her huh. I'll totally close my eyes. Bitch probably has her toolbar in the side of her screen.
CLIENT:Look, I'm very disatisfied with your services, let me talk to your manager.
ANALYST X:Dude, put me on I'll show you how you ruin someone's day.
ANALYST:...all...all right m'am, let me transfer you.
Paul switches the control to Roger
ANALYST X:IT Manager! My name is Greg.
CLIENT: Look Greg, I have this urgent problem and your guy cannot help himself...how can he help me.
ANALYST X:Ma'am...
CLIENT: This is very poor service, I want to file a complain.
ANALYST X:Ma'am,you've been on the phone for fifty five seconds with our analyst...I was monitoring the conversation.
CLIENT: So, why couldn't I benefit effectiveness.
ANALYST X:Because you didn't take time to explain the problem maybe? Anyway I think I figured it out.
CLIENT: Oh really? So you're going to fix it?
ANALYST X:Yep, but i'll need your help.
CLIENT: OOOOK?
ANALYST X:The problem seem to occur in between the computer and the chair.
CLIENT: What do you mean?
ANALYST X:I need you to go to your manager's office, hand out your keys and say : 'I quit because I can't handle a computer'.
CLIENT: What the?
-CLICK-
9:59 AM
ANALYST:IT Support, I'm Paul.
ANALYST X:HELPDESK DUDE! COME ON! And ask them how you can help them. Clients appreciate that.
ANALYST: How can help yooou?
CLIENT: Oh hey, Hi!
ANALYST: Hi!
CLIENT: So can you help me with my problem?
ANALYST X:Say yes!
ANALYST: What's that problem sir?
CLIENT: I erased one of my files and I need it for a meeting in fifteen minutes.
ANALYST X:Ask him if he made a copy on the network drive?
ANALYST: Did you make a copy on the network drive?
CLIENT: How can I know such a thing?
ANALYST X:Dammit! What's with the retards calling today.
CLIENT: Look kid, I'm the director of research for the adult small pox in Florida Anacom, I need this for my meeting or I'll have to re-schedule.
ANALYST: Your network drive it the drive with the letter N:
CLIENT: I don't have such a thing.
ANALYST X:Great he never mapped it. Well you'll have to tell him he can kiss his file goodbye.
ANALYST: Have you made a Windows Search?
ANALYST X:Oh, good thinking man
CLIENT: Yeah there's nothing in the temp files.
ANALYST X:Wow, he knows what temp files are? You impress me Mr. Director McDouchebag
CLIENT: So, I need to get a restore right now.
ANALYST: I'm afraid...
CLIENT: YOU'RE AFRAID WHAT.
ANALYST X: I'm afraid you were too dumb to back up your important data and now you're screwed.
ANALYST: I'm afraid you were too dumb to back up your important data and now you're screwed.
ANALYST X: Woah dude! You're the man Paul!
CLIENT: WHAT? I WANNA SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
ANALYST X:Hang up!
ANALYST:What?
ANALYST X:Hang up!
ANALYST: Hang up!
ANALYST X:DUDE THE PHONE, HANG UP THE PHONE!
-CLICK-
11:09 AM
ANALYST:IT Helpdesk, my name is Paul, how may I serve you!
ANALYST X:Almost there champ!
CLIENT:Yeah I wonder if you can, I can't seem to access the internet.
ANALYST: Are you timing out when trying to access a link?
ANALYST X:Too technical dude, you're going to lose her.
CLIENT: No, I can't access the internet, my email and all.
ANALYST: Ok, what happens when you're trying to access it?
CLIENT: It asks me for a password.
ANALYST X:She's in the left field dude, you have to steer her back in the right direction.
ANALYST: You're in the left field ma'am can you just go back in the right direction?
CLIENT:What?
ANALYST X:*laughs*
ANALYST:I mean, where does it asks you for a password?
CLIENT:Oh, what I open the computer
ANALYST:Oh, but it asks a password to everyone! You don't know yours?
ANALYST X:*laughs* Dudududude, she's just locked out of her account. I unlocked her, tell her to try with Anacommie666 as her password
ANALYST:No I won't
CLIENT:What?
ANALYST X:Focus Paul! Focus!
ANALYST:You've been making fun of me for hours, I'll give you the line and see if you can deal so well with idiots.
CLIENT: HEY THAT'S NOT NICE!
*lines switches*
ANALYST X:Hey!
CLIENT:Hey!
ANALYST X:Are you on Corporate MSN? I'll get your new password there.
CLIENT:Sure, try D242Qfet
ANALYST X:Denise?
CLIENT:Yep...where's the guy I was just talking to?
ANALYST X:He walked out of the room, I don't think he's coming back!
CLIENT:Oh...
ANALYST X:So is that new password working?
CLIENT:Yep Thank you!
ANALYST X:No problem, have a nice day!
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