Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Specialist: Episode 09, Roger goes to QA!!!



QA DIRECTOR: Hi Roger, take a seat

ANALYST: Hey Steve

QA DIRECTOR: How d'you feel today?

ANALYST:Pretty good, you?

QA DIRECTOR: I'm all right...first, Roger, I'd like to congratulate you.

ANALYST:Ha ha! Why?

QA DIRECTOR: You have the highest indicent resolution in the whole company, it`s something to be proud of. 99,96%, there is only two incidents you didn`t solve since you started working here. It`s outstanding.

ANALYST:Hey thanks! I guess you guys can use a software engineer huh?

QA DIRECTOR: Yeah...

ANALYST:Steve....why the constipated face?

QA DIRECTOR: See...I'm glad you say that because we do need to address the question of your language.

ANALYST:What`s wrong with my language?

QA DIRECTOR: In fact, your whole customer relationship is a disaster.

ANALYST: HEY, YOU`RE THE DISASTER PAL!

QA DIRECTOR: Please, Roger, don't take this personal, I'm doing my job here.

ANALYST: And I'm not, let's wrap this up, I want to go back on the phone.

QA DIRECTOR: Hem...I'm afraid...

ANALYST: Afraid of what?

QA DIRECTOR: Watch your tone here pal.I'm the boss of your future.

ANALYST: The boss of my ten bucks an hour future. You're the boss of nothing Steve, you're just the guy with the headphones who spies a lot.

QA DIRECTOR: Hey I don't spy

ANALYST: You have no friends here.

QA DIRECTOR: Now don't be rude.

ANALYST: You're a spy Steve.

QA DIRECTOR: Roger...

ANALYST: Fuckin' scumbag.

QA DIRECTOR: ENOUGH!

ANALYST: All right, chill out man.

QA DIRECTOR: I'm perfectly chill.

ANALYST: You look like you need vacation man.

QA DIRECTOR: I know, I do need vacation.

ANALYST: You're a little pale, you've been sick lately?

QA DIRECTOR: No, but you know, I`ve been a bit scared with that whole H1N1 shit.

ANALYST: Yeah, you should take your afternoon off.

QA DIRECTOR: Nah, I got three more evaluations to do.

ANALYST: So finish mine.

QA DIRECTOR: Roger, it's not that simple, I mean, we've got a laundry list of complain about you.

ANALYST: Complains about what Steve?

QA DIRECTOR: You being rude to clients.

ANALYST: But they're rude. I've never been rude to a nice person who wanted help. Only to assholes. I don't take their shit man, you know me.

QA DIRECTOR: Yeah, half of the management want you gone man. Help me out here, how could we keep you?

ANALYST: Because I own at troubleshooting maybe?

QA DIRECTOR: Yeah you do.

ANALYST: I'm pretty sure I make you laugh in your earphones too.

QA DIRECTOR: No, you're terrible at this.

ANALYST: Come on! Don't you think these assholes had it coming to them?

QA DIRECTOR: Steve, this conversation is recorded.

ANALYST: Man, it means you have your earphones dude too?

QA DIRECTOR: Yes Roger, I have an earphones guy to, who is Dan, the director.

ANALYST:Fuck me! DAN WHAT'S UP?

QA DIRECTOR: He's not listening right now it's just recorded

ANALYST:Yeah right, DAN COME JOIN THE PARTY!

QA DIRECTOR: Ha ha! You're a funny guy man, you should be HR or something.

ANALYST:Very funny.

QA DIRECTOR: No, I'm not kidding the company HR could use someone with your spirited behavior.

ANALYST:Steve, are you implying I'm useless?

QA DIRECTOR: No, not a all...

ANALYST: Are you trying to shove me on the side? Like I was good for nothing?

QA DIRECTOR: No...

ANALYST: You slimy corporate bastard!

QA DIRECTOR: Roger, sit down.

ANALYST:You silly fuck!

QA DIRECTOR: ROGER, LET GO OF ME...OW...*rumbling noise* *tape ends*

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