Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Analyzing Technoviking



* Sorry for the commercial at the beginning, the YouTube version is down with a case of unknown legal issues. *

This is video became a timeless classic for very good reasons. 'happened at the Fuckparade in Berlin in 2000, a celebration made to mock the Love Parade because it has became a trendy event. Right from the start, you know this video is plenty of people that keep it real.

So, girl with a blue wig is dancing, she's high as a kite, other random fat dude (also high) bumps into her with no bad intentions, she was just in the way where he wanted to go. No injuries, not even a fall. Harmless accident you think? OH NO! NOT FOR TECHNOVIKING. Munich bodybuilder and entrepreneur extraordinaire Hans Schlepkopper decided he didn't made the trip to Berlin to witness such unruly acts of violence. NOT ON HIS WATCH!

He takes the guy by the wrists, dismissed his mumbling explanations, and in a gesture of pure manly awesomeness, he flings the poor guy back where he comes from. Showing as much manhood, he gives this random stoner the menacing finger and the hatred look. Another day on the job for a modern day viking no? OH NO! Good Hans then starts sentry duties while still trying to enjoy the parade. During four awesome minutes you witness Hans torn in between his love for dancing and his hatred for urban trespassers.

Why do we love it so much?: There are so many great things in this video, I don't know where to start. This video is amazing because two genre-specific cool things happened at the same time, by the intermediate of a single person. Street Vigilantism and amazing display of dancing. Both are satisfying for the fans of the genre, but when both cross paths, it becomes stuff of legends.

I mean, Hans could've slapped this guy across the head, let him go and enjoy his show, but no, he INSISTED on displaying the world that he was ready to kick some ass for an ugly girl he didn't even seem to know (I'm projecting here, but she completely disappears from the video after the stoner bumps into her). But that's not why Gentleman Hans was in Berlin for. He was there for the dancing...and dancing he did.

You wouldn't expect from a manly, rugged bodybuilder with a goddamn Mjolnir around his neck to be into dancing. Hans is, and he's a damn good dancer. Now that kicking the crap out of people has been judged illegal by modern society, dancing has been a measuring stick for male dominance and as a viking of his time, Hans owns in both department. Timeless Alpha Male...



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22 comments:

  1. Excellent commentary

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  2. "random fat dude (also high) bumps into her with no bad intentions" - you serious?!? it was clearly intentional and he was trying to grope her

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  3. You get to see random fat dude again at around 2:45 in the video when the camera pans to the left.

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    Replies
    1. of course you see this blasphemic guy again. but this time he was converted and saw, that techno viking has pleased the gods. did you know, that technoviking has existed before the first human did? come to the church of technoviking and become one of his followers

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  4. You talk with a robotics specialist or someone good at Kinematics and they will tell you where the hand of the so called "fat" guy went.
    The hand can't be seen but by the angle of the elbow i can tell you where his hand likely end.
    So couldn't just the Technoviking have slapped him???
    And couldn't just the guy omit to sexually harass the girl???
    It's always "couldn't you" never "couldn't I" or "should I have been such a lame scum"

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  5. Hey, that Alpha Male is dang awesome just as he is. It was clear from the vid that weird dude needed to chill out, and TechnoViking was there to keep things under control.

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  6. Where did you get the name Hans Schlepkopper? Do you have a reference for that?

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  7. I'm happy somebody finally asked the question. Not really. When I first saw the Technoviking video, I googled: "Who is Technoviking?" and I got a web site (which I think was Wikipedia or Digg.com,I'm not sure) who affirmed Technoviking was Hans Schlepkopper. I wrote the article from that scarce research, thinking it was a known fact. Turned out that now, all the Technoviking research is pointing to ME (Literally, I'm the no.1 Google hit for Hans Schlepkopper and I'm in the first page for Technoviking). It's OK with me, because Wikipedia says I PRETEND he's named Hans Schlepkopper and I keep pretending this, since there has been no other logical explanation made. Whether he's Hans Schlepkopper or nit, he did a good job killing the buzz around his meme.

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    1. don`t worry. all theese people ask, who`s the technoviking. but, as the church says, even if it`s true that you`d inhabit the technoviking, you`d be only a vessel the technoviking choosed to use, when he`s on planet earth.

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  8. That's hilarious. Thanks for the reply.

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  9. It's probably going to cost me in traffic, but whatever. I don't think we're going to be able to place an identity on Technoviking because the net is flooded with information about him being Hans. Google image hans Schlepkopper and it's all Technoviking.

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  10. First - they all know each other - guy landed from the truck where music and sound system -
    and then bumps into girl.

    Then wants to pass the street - but it returns to the truck by viking.

    Then viking pointing with finger on the truck where guy needs to stay.

    In the video you can see the same guy sitting on a truck and how moves head in a trance

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  11. I know because I was there.

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  12. Then, Mr. Anonymous, you can tell me what is really his name?

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  13. Yes, anon, we want to know please.

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  14. It's Keith Jardine you fucktards !!!!

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    Replies
    1. nope. keith's profile and features are similar but NOT the same guy. Just look at the dang ears and the nose, etc. NOT the same guy.

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  15. The fat fuck actually tripped on the rail track and that's how he ran into the girl, which prompted technoviking to intercede, mistakenly, her behalf, and thus a legend was born. A simple trip has changed peoples lives. If he never had tripped on the rail, this never would have happened.

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  16. The girl in the beginning is not a girl but a transsexual human being, or even an extra-terrestrial one. She/he/it does have tits but, like the wig, they too might as well be fake tits. Nothing in the video is certain, it can be all fake. Like today's world.

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  17. Hans Schlepkopper is Technoviking

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