Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Segments



I thought the movie 300 was an abominable mind rape. Most people disagreed. I was told once: "I really enjoyed the movie, all I did was to sit down and turn my brain off for two hours". I don't do that. The thought of making myself vulnerable to somebody else's ideas scare me. I like to use my brain and to a certain extent, I appreciate the fiction that requires thinking. Unless Sylvester Stallone is involved. I feel safe being vulnerable to Sly because the only things he ever tried to sell me were extreme ethnocentrism and HGH.

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A breed of dogs I don't get is the Jack Russell Terrier. I have yet to see these little shits behave around other dogs. They are aggressive, they bite, they hump and they usually ruin a fun day at the dog park. Their owners drone behind the rampaging dogs with a stupid smile saying: "Oh buddy, come one buddy, buddy, buddy, be nice now". I'm a supporter of Pit Bulls rehabilitation in the media. I like challenging dogs, but crazy, violent, dominant breeds like the Jack Russell Terrier makes me wonder why they don't get bad press. The other day, one was digging a hole in the park. It's a pain when dogs do because it makes all the others want to dig too. His owner looked at him with a dumb and tender smile. When he pulled him away from the hole, the Jack Russell bit his hand and didn't let go until they were out of the park. This happens all the time.

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Fast-food terrorists KFC have unleashed the Double Down sandwich upon Canada. Never such a blatant attempt have been made at selling such a stupid food item. Needless to say, it's daring me to try it. I've been developing a theory that fast-food is chemical conditioning. Whenever I see a McDonald's logo, I'm hungry. Even if I ate an hour beforehand. There must be some kind of chemical compound, cousin to crack-cocaine in popular fast-food that makes you crave like zombie for brains.

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Blogging made me aware of the essay as a literary genre. You can't post a thorough and satisfying essay (from a writer's point of view) on a blog because it's simply too fucking long for a computer read. Nonetheless, I like the freedom and the humility of the format. I'm juggling with a few essay ideas. Among them: The path which lead me to writing, my fondness for American fiction, the actuality and pertinence of fiction and problems of the mixed martial arts lifestyle for the mixed martial artist. Technically, I have more credibility to talk about fiction than to write some. I just don't want to be bothered by academic imperative to quote and make universal sense. I feel that writing essays is the next step to my reconciliation with intellectual thinking.

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4 comments:

  1. "I thought the movie 300 was an abominable mind rape. Most people disagreed."

    I was all prepared to defend the special effects in this movie when I realized that I hadn't seen it since it came out, so it must not be THAT good.

    I feel you wholeheartedly on the JRT thing though, those dogs are hellacious. I had a really strong bias against small dogs in general until I got my latest dog. He's a Yorkshire terrier and despite some of his more obnoxious idiosyncrasies (tearing around the yard barking at daybreak not the least of them) he's still one of the coolest dogs on the planet.

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  2. Yorkshire Terriers are loud, but harmless for most. The only problem with them at the park is that their owners often take them in their arms, which causes my dogs to jump all the time.

    Jack Russells are devil spawns.

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  3. I vowed that I would never own one of those yappy ankle-biting dogs because I grew up around large dignified dogs, so ever since my yorkie was a pup, I have treated him like a mastiff.

    He does still get overexcited sometimes when I am first coming home (mostly jumps in place four feet in the air until I acknowledge his presence) but he's generally pretty calm and well-behaved most of the time.

    On the other hand, every Jack Russell I've ever known was a shrill, snarling menace though. Why on Earth anyone would think that kind of attitude in a dog is endearing, I have no clue. Maybe I'm just biased from working at the municipal kill shelter - whenever I see a snarling dog, I don't think, "Oh, he's so cute," I think "Holy crap, this dog is going to bite me."

    I mean yeah, it's kind of funny to be "threatened" by something that's a foot tall, until it gets the idea to maul a toddler because it has always been allowed to get away with aggressive behavior.

    Not cute.

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  4. I can relate, I grew up around a miniature poodle/bichon. It's weird, back then I had no idea why people had big dogs and now it's the opposite. Weird how you look back on your certitudes and laugh about it.

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