* This is not true. I walked in the living room and the movie was playing. Caught in a social situation, I didn't want to be a savage, so I sat down and watched the goddamn thing. Or almost.
** It would be more faire to say that I heard BREAKING DAWN more than I watched it. In both case, permanent damage to my intellect was made.
*** I'm not sure I got the core of BREAKING DAWN, but I think it's about Bella being pregnant with a demon baby. There is this mesmerizing scene where Edward gives her a pile of shit because the baby is destroying her and instead of throwing dishes at him like a normal girl would, she goes to see Jacob and says: "I feel complete with you". What the fuck does that even mean? Talk about being confusing for a poor hormone driven werewolf. Plus, can somebody educate me on the biology of dead people? How are they supposed to procreate? Can they even get boners?
**** And c'mon. Only a self-righteous turd would refuse to change Bella into a fucking vampire. I'm sure he does that "purity" routine only so she can die and he can be miserable for another hundred years before falling in love with another ordinary looking seventeen years old and treat her like shit. Not the most feminist stuff ever written here.
***** Yes, Edwards gives birth to his troglodyte child with his TEETH. It's not an urban legend. Director Bill Condon makes it horribly sensual too. And it's only sensual for Edward as Bella is bleeding out in the meantime. What the fuck is wrong with people?
***** 0%. Fuck this movie. It could have used a Prozac Tooth Fairy for its characters.