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Jimmy told me one time he was a Christian, and it about blew my mind. "Holy shit." I told him. "I didn't even know they made you guys anymore."
Jordan Harper, CHRISTMAS MORNING COMING DOWN
I've only been alone on Christmas Eve once in my life, but it fucking sucked. Holidays have always been pretty "whatever" to me - mainly because it's the stance my family always had - yet I understood that year how much it sucked to chug beer, eat process Christmas Log and play video games on my own when everybody else in the world are getting facefuls of love *. So, now whatever twists and turns or ridicules the spirit of Christmas, I like. Fortunately for me, the Thuglit crew decided to claim their part of the Christmas fiction market this year with Cruel Yule: Holidays Tales of Crime for People on the Naughty List, an anthology that has violent endings and moments of visceral satisfaction for just about anyone.
If you don't know what Thuglit is, it's fine. It only means that you're a lightweight crime reader that doesn't know the best and longest standing short crime fiction magazine. They helped several major voices emerge in recent years and Cruel Yule is somewhat of an all-star edition featuring some of my favorite writers. My two favorite stories in the collection were written by regular fixtures on this site. Christmas Morning Coming Down, by Jordan Harper bombarded me with original ideas and oddly tender moments between drug dealing outcasts. Haper can do no wrong in my book, but I'll be damned if that guy can't find beauty, tenderness and a little Christmas spirit even, in the most desolate places.
My second favorite story in the anthology was Mistletoe by Hilary Davidson. If you've followed my reviews for a couple years, you already know I think she's the best straight mystery writer in the business. The story is a tad predictable, but I believe it was a narrative design choice by Davidson. Mistletoe - which I'm sure you understood begins with some douchebag abusing the mistletoe rule at a corporate Christmas party - gave a couple sadistic chuckles because I understood quite early where it was going and I think it was meant to be like that. The character cast in Mistletoe is as strong as ever, Hilary Davidson kept it straightforward and fun for her readers.
Nobody wants to work on Christmas Eve unless you're fucked off on life. That's basically what I'm saying.
Me and Junior were working Christmas Eve.
Todd Robinson, 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE
While Christmas Morning Coming Down and Mistletoe were the two stories that really transported me, there were several other excellent ones in Cruel Yule. Rob Hart's The Santa Con and Johnny Shaw's Feliz Navidead were both a lot of fun. The first one sounds like the craziest bar story ever told as Shaw's grind has some of the best comedic timing I've ever seen in a short story. Another nice surprise was Terrence McCauley's Unholy Night, which had amazing dialogue that turned a very simple story into something extremely engaging. It was a story of loneliness way more than a story about kidnapping, I though. Had a soft spot for Ed Kurtz' Okeechobee too because I love stories that end with a minor chord.
There wasn't a bad story per se in Cruel Yule : Holiday Tales of Crime for People on the Naughty List. There is a very wide array of themes and angles that are bound to reach different audiences, so no reader will be pleased by every story in the book and it's supposed to be that way. Legendary Thuglit editor Todd Robinson created a wild, foul-mouthed and wide-ranging anthology that lives up to his magazine's professional reputation in every way. Anthologies being what they are, you need to be into them in the first place in order to appreciate and buy the product, but Cruel Yule : Holiday Tales of Crime for People on the Naughty List is as solid as it gets. There is probably something like 0,6 anthology readers in your collective lives, but get them this book for Christmas anyway.
* I ended the evening talking a friend out of killing himself over the phone, so it wasn't completely lost but can it get any more miserable?