I've always advocated Facebook. Since a training partner convinced me to use it somewhere in 2006-2007, I've always been a big user. I used it for work, for gaming, for the proverbial reunion with people from your past and the haunting from people from your past you wish stayed gone. Social media were never really a phenomenon before Facebook and it's safe to assume they would lose a considerable amount of speed if it disappeared tomorrow. The modern world would change if Facebook disappears.
The love-hate relationship I have with Mark Zuckerberg's monster baby is not new, but it took a really personal turn not long ago. Before last September I always had high spirits (or almost). Unfortunately for me, I have discovered this Fall that I am prone to mortal emotions such as depression and angst (maybe I should read Fight Club again?) These are two emotions that Facebook does not want. There's no way to expose vulnerability without sounding A)like a cry-baby B)like a drama queen C) like a weirdo or D)all of the above. Here's how a typical status update goes for a depressed guy.
Depressed - I don't feel well. Would like to spend a whole week in a dark room where nothing happens. Peace and quiet, you know?
Work Colleague - You're gonna flake our "after-work beer" AGAIN?
Concerned friend - I'll call you.
Old classmate - Emo.
Depressed - ...
Old high school crush - You should come back in town and let the rays of the sun heal your wounds.
Depressed - The sun is pretty good here. But you know? Peace, quiet, darkness. I'm not sure the beach is what I want.
Old high school crush - Don't get all snippy, I'm just trying to help.
Old Classmate Turned Pyramid Salesman - You should try Master Merdhod home yoga class kit, follow this link @ http...
Our poor depressed status updater cannot win. If he angers the old high school crush, he's going to get a private message. If he deflects the colleague, he's going to get a phone call. An email if he answers something to the old classmate. Your Facebook page is supposed to be your personal space, a digital proof of your presence in the world. Twitter is based on messages exchange, but on Facebook, you occupy a space and therefore it's a lot more personal. If you're depressed, you can make people know in one sentence instead of disappearing completely, committing suicide or crashing at your friend's house in drunken tears.
But it's not what it is in reality. What it is, it's a breach in your privacy by your social ring. It's an eye looking at you when you don't want. If you're dumb enough like me and use it for work purpose, you can also never really close it. Facebook is self-sufficient at finding ways to stay in your life. Of course I exaggerate here. I still have enough preservation instinct to shut if off and not falling in those gaming traps (I said I gamed a little, but I'm not actively doing that). I still believe there's no way to "win" at Facebook. The only way to "win" at it is to spend as much time away from it as possible and win at life.
Because this is what Facebook really is. Your mediated life. You can read it, people can read it, you feel like you matter. But you can also sit down and chat with your friends, play games and not do anything productive for a long time. Your life will disappear in scrambled text. So in the end, you and your friends who spent a gazillion hours on Facebook will all "Like" the pages of those people who spend time outside doing things. Maybe it's the first step I have to take to feel a little better. Stop going on Facebook so much. I'll try Twitter as my Nicorette. You can't play games, you can't chat and you don't have a million apps to put on your page.
