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Movie Review : The Conjuring (2013)


Have you ever sat through an entire viewing of a PARANORMAL ACTIVITY movie? It's the worst, an experience akin to Chinese water torture. These movies are just a series of vapid filler scenes,  built around a series of identical scares : The protagonist anticipates a threat in silence, there's a spike in the volume when he finally discovers the threat, then the protagonist runs for shelter. Again and again and again. It's Hollywood Scare Tactics 101. It's not even scary. You'll jump out of your seat, but you will sleep fine comes bedtime. It's more toying with the viewers nervous system than making a genuine effort at horror. THE CONJURING is built around the same ideas. It tries a lot harder than the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY franchise, but it cannot conceal that's it's an uninspired piece of cinema.

THE CONJURING is based on an investigation of Ed and Lorraine Warren, married couple and paranormal phenomenon specialists. In 1971, they are called to investigate a haunted house case in Rhode Island, that reveals to be unlike everything they seen before. There is a presence in the Perron family's new house that wants them all dead. Something way more terrifying than a wandering soul, refusing to leave. After a little bit of research, Ed and Lorraine (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) are able to identify the threat, but they need to move fast and improvise a little, because the demonic presence in the Perron's residence has plans for them.

My biggest issue with THE CONJURING (and it's a pretty big one), is that it doesn't have one original bone. Most of its ideas are borrowed from iconic horror movies, namely THE EXORCIST and THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. The latter might be the biggest ripoff, because it also was a Warren investigation and several ideas seem to have been directly taken from the legendary case : the 3 AM events, the youngest child's having an imaginary friend, odors of putrefaction, etc. The fact might scare your teenage daughter, because she haven't seen a haunted house movie before, but if you have a tiny bit of horror culture, it's nothing you haven't seen before. Even the ''demonic presence'' is a dead ringer for Linda Blair, circa 1973.

What do you mean ''something bad happened here''? I don't sense anything evil at all.

But THE CONJURING doesn't systematically miss the plot. It has its moments. There are two or three really clever scares, including one that'll  convince you to never play Marco Polo again.The exorcism scene is the real showstopper, though. It had budget, research and a childlike enthusiasm to it. It's the only scene of the movie where Ed, Lorraine and the Perron family directly confront the demonic presence. I'm sure if you watch THE CONJURING more than once, there is a special satisfaction, knowing that the Perron family's terror leads up to a somewhat badass showdown.

Director James Wan isn't exactly renowned for shooting efficient horror movies. His calling card is the first SAW, which he co-wrote and directed. While the first chapter had a lot of clever ideas to it, it is pretty much the epitome of mechanical filmmaking. THE CONJURING seems like his next golden goose, since it has already been greenlit for a sequel. My guess is that Wan wants to transform Ed and Lorraine Warren into real-life ghostbusters of some sort. I don't have much hope for an eventual franchise, since the first movie was barely competent. THE CONJURING is bound to become a cheap thrill for boring afternoons.



Movie Review : Only God Forgives (2013)

R.I.P Old Faithful