What are you looking for, homie?

Movie Review : The Black Phone (2022)

Movie Review : The Black Phone (2022)

The murderous pedo in the van is as much an urban legend than it is history. It must've happened once or twice at some point, but the image was so terrifying that it became an overblown cautionary tale in every American household. Why wouldn’t it? Creepy vans are a murderer’s best friend. Although this collective fear largely belongs to the past, it was never really turned into a convincing horror movie. Until now. The Black Phone might look cheap and exploitative, but I'm here to tell you it ain't like that.

The Black Phone tells the story of Finney (Mason Thames), a kid who gets severely bullied at school and terrorized at home by a violent, grieving drunk of a father. Boys in Finney's neighbourhood at getting abducted by the proverbial van-driving pervert and vanishing into thin air. It's only a question of time before "The Grabber" dials in on a vulnerable kid like him, but once Finney disappears from the world of the living himself, he gets help from an unexpected source through a black phone in the pedo's cave.

The Art of Showing Just Enough

Horror is an unforgiving genre for bad storytellers. Don’t commit enough and your story remains abstract and unclimactic. Overcommit and it stops being scary. You have to show just enough in order to nurture the disquieting feeling you're trying to elicit and The Black Phone does just that. In all transparency, it is based on a short story by Joe Hill. On top of being Stephen King's SON, the man knows a thing or two about scaring people. But director Scott Derrickson also adds his own twist to the fear cocktail.

Whenever The Black Phone deals with "The Grabber" (played by an inspired Ethan Hawke), Scott Derrickson only allows you the same point of view Finney has. Your fear is contextualized as the fear of a twelve years old trapped in a weirdo's basement with no idea why or how to get out. Although he gets fed information by voices on the phone, all he (and you) have to go on is terrifying imagery and a shitload of assumptions. And whatever you'll assume will be infinitely more scary than whatever the movie comes up with.

The imagery (and the context) provided by Scott Derrickson ARE scary. I don't know if Ethan Hawke bulked up for this movie, but he looks like a bull with that mask on and his freaky, reptilian mannerisms enhance his otherworldliness. It also helps that you never know who he is and why he does what he does. He remains a monster to be defeated. A poor excuse for a human being who solely serves a function dictated by his lower instincts. But The Black Phone is not HIS story. "The Grabber" merely serves a purpose.

Growing up male in a world of violence

At its heart, The Black Phone is a dark coming-of-age story about a young boy who needs to become his own man. He's being victimized at school and at home and he's constantly relying on others to bail him out. Whether it's his highly intelligent sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw) or his battle-hardened friend Robin (Miguel Cazarez Mora), there's always someone to do for Finney what he needs to be doing for himself. Not in the cave. "The Grabber" is worse than anything he's ever faced and he's alone against him.

Finney's plight is what makes The Black Phone enticing and… well, scary. It's not enough to have a scary antagonist introduced in a tightly controlled context, it's crucial to have a relatable protagonist to be afraid for. Starting to be responsible for your own safety is a universal struggle for teenagers in a world full of dangers, shadows and folktales invented by insecure parents. Boys like Finney (especially in the eighties, where film takes place) are expected to assume this responsibility alone solely because they’re boys.

I'm not saying women or LGBTQ folks have it better. Don't get me wrong. They are more unfairly victimized by a long shot, but what makes the plight of a boy like Finney scary is the expectations. He’s a boy, so he should be strong and self-reliant otherwise he will be socially ostracized or even worse, killed. Although he is constantly helped and searched for throughout the movie, what defines Finney is his aloneness and his unpreparedness in front of an almost certain annihilation. He should technically not survive.

Witnessing the change operate within Finney is what makes The Black Phone so satisfying. It's not a very sophisticated narrative or anything, but it's crazy how emotionally efficient you can be when you respect the rules of storytelling 101.

*

The Black Phone is a simple, but very, very good movie. It should be greatly enjoyed by anyone who has the balls to sit through it. It's not just a "horror thing". Don't get me wrong, it will conjure some of your deepest childhood fears. But not just for the sake of riling you up. Despite a relatively quiet promo campaign, it was a deafening success at the box office and unfortunately spanned ideas for a Black Phone extended universe. But even if it sucks, we'll always have this movie to come back to.

8.2/10

* Follow me on: Facebook - Twitter - Instagram *

Classic Book Review : Roberto Bolaño - 2666 (2004)

Classic Book Review : Roberto Bolaño - 2666 (2004)

Book Review : Jessica McHugh - Hares in the Hedgegrow (2022)

Book Review : Jessica McHugh - Hares in the Hedgegrow (2022)